Bisexual Married Men of America

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Who We Are

Some of us are bisexual, some of us are gay, and some of us are trying to figure out who or what we are. Most of us are married, some of us are engaged to be married, some are separated, divorced or widowed. We are mostly living in North America, but we have members in countries around the world.

As bisexual and gay married men we face unique challenges in life unlike gay or bisexual single men.  Whether we are in or out of the closet, we face discrimination everyday of our lives.  We are accused of "fence sitting" by heterosexuals and homosexuals.  If we are closeted, we must hide our feelings from our wives and others. If we are out, we must find a way to incorporate our feelings into our marriages and families whether or not we act on them.  Some of us who are out have tremendously supportive wives.  Others have had their marriages and families destroyed.  Some of us have even lost our jobs.

How BMMA Functions

Today's technolgy allows one to participate in a vast array of electronic media, including this group. BMMA is an email list-serve which offers a unique way of dealing with the challenges we face daily. Messages posted by email to BMMA are read by our hundreds of members. Those who wish to offer support, suggestions, affirmation, challenges or further questions can post their response to the mailing list for all to see, or they may write to the original poster privately, off the list. Although friendships and even loves have developed between men who met through the list, BMMA is not a place to post personal ads. You may sign on to the mailing list and "lurk" for as long as you like. We hope you will soon feel like joining in the ongoing conversations, or begin a new "thread" of your own.

When you first post to the list, we suggest you start with a brief introduction of yourself. Share that which you are comfortable making public: Your first name or a nick-name, what part of the country (or world) you live in, your marital status, whether or not you are out to anyone, etc. You will find all BMMA brothers are or have been in a similar situation, and deeply respect one's need for confidentiality and/or annonymity. The group has the potential for large volumes of mail, but a digest format is available. In the digest format you receive one email each day that contains all the posts in the prior 24 hours. Under the regular format you receive each message as it is posted.

This group has proven very effective and has changed many lives for the better. Welcome to a world you never knew existed!